Manage anger through ASDA

Did you know that ASDA can help you with anger? No, I don’t mean something you can buy in the store, but a useful acronym to help you regain calm and control in angry moments.
This is how it goes:

A – appropriate. Check that you are expressing your anger at the right time, to the right person, in the right place and in the right amount.

S – spontaneous. Check that you express appropriate anger as soon as possible. Suppressing and internalising your anger can build up a volcano within, which might erupt around the wrong time, person, place, or amount.

D – direct. Be specific and direct. Tell the other person what you are angry about and why. Keep to the current issue, don’t drag in other grievances.

A – assertive. The balance between being passive and aggressive. Respect the other person’s right not to be intimidated by how cross you are, while at the same time respecting your right to feel angry and to tell them how you feel. It is more helpful to say ‘I feel angry when you….’ rather than ‘You make me angry’.

Thanks to a counsellor, Peter van den Berk of The Priory Hospital in Roehampton for the ASDA tip.

Next month I’ll be writing about those occasions when years of effort are judged in hours of exams or even seconds if you’re an Olympic athlete.

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